5 Ways to have Less Stress and More Merry this Holiday Season
Here we are again, another holiday season is fast approaching! This time of year is often described with words such as “Merry”, “Bright” and “Joyful”… but some of us may actually feel that words like “Stressed”, “Busy” and “Strapped”, more accurately describe how many of us are really feeling.
If this is true for you, or if you simply want to take a proactive approach to ensuring your peace and joy for the next 2 months - follow these 5 tips for prioritizing your mental health and well-being during the holidays:
Set an Intention for the Holidays
The trick to getting what you want is knowing what you want! Take a moment to reflect, visualize and/or journal on what you want for the Holiday season this year. The magic question of therapy works well here:
“What do you want to be THINKING, DOING, FEELING, and how do you want to BE this holiday season?”
For example:
Thinking: I want to be grateful for the good things I have in life instead of focused on what I don’t have.
Doing: I want to spend time doing things I enjoy rather than overwhelming myself to make everything “perfect”.
Feeling: I want to feel peaceful, happy, and content.
How I want to be: I want to be easy-going, light, and fun.
What would be on your list? Once you have an idea of what you want, ask yourself what are the barriers to all of that? What is in my control and what is not? What are the things that I can do to think, do, feel, and be the way I want to be? How will I handle any obstacles or barriers that may arise? What do I want to remember and prioritize in the face of those barriers or obstacles?
Think of this as creating a Safety Plan for protecting your joy and peace over the holidays. Set an intention to prioritize these goals. When making choices over the next few weeks, ask yourself will this particular choice support me in getting what I want for the holidays (the list above) and if not, what could I do instead?
2. Prioritize Self Care
The first thing that goes when we get stressed and busy, is our self care. “I’m too busy for yoga”, “I have no time for the gym!”, etc. Staying up late, not maintaining our sleep and exercise, and dramatic changes to our diet (more sugar, alcohol, etc)., can wreak havoc with our mood and health.
Give your body the sleep, diet and exercise it needs and deserves as a gift to yourself this holiday season.
Take naps if you need to after late nights and busy weekends.
Focus on WHAT you’re going to eat rather than what you’re not. We all love the food and sweets that come with the holidays. Plan for healthy foods that you want to eat that will nourish you and support you at this hectic time of year. Add more of those in at this time of year.
Move your body. Stretch, move, strengthen. Even 10 minutes reduces stress and cortisol.
3. Give Back
Acts of service feel good and are therefore a win-win. Help others and help yourself. Here are small but simple ways you can help others at this time of year:
Support your local food bank - here are a few local ones that could use your help: Food Banks Mississauga , Fare Share Food Banks Oakville , Oakville Rangers “Gift of Giving Back” event
Other ways you can Volunteer in Mississauga and Volunteer in Oakville
4. Prioritize Joy
Make a list of anything and everything that you would enjoy doing over the next 2 months. This is YOUR list and nobody else’s. That means you are to write down the things you REALLY want to do and not what you think others want to do or what you think you SHOULD do. Ask your friends and family to make their own lists as well. Instead of giftt lists of stuff that we need to buy, let’s write down how we want to spend time over the holidays. Share your lists and decide what’s doable. Can everyone have something from their list this holiday season?
Find one thing each day that brings you joy. In my family, we play a game called “Peach and Pit” where we share at the end of the day something that was lovely (our peach) and something that sucked (our pit). What can you do to ensure you have at least one peach each day? How do we minimize the pits?
5. Say No.
To anything that steals your joy, peace and contentment this holiday season. Set boundaries to reduce overwhelm. Avoid over-committing. You’ve got your lists of what you want and how you want to spend your time. Filter every option, request, invitation, etc. through these lists. Will saying yes to that support my intentions for how I’m spending the next 2 months?
It can be hard to say no. I share a little trick with my clients that I learned years ago. It’s the “Thanks for understanding” instead of “I’m sorry” trick. When we apologize for something - it puts us in a position of reduced power. We are accepting fault or wrongdoing for something. Now by all means, apologize when you should! But when you’re making a choice that is good for you and your family and that allows you to maintain healthy boundaries, instead of using “I’m sorry” just state your why and say “Thanks for Understanding”.
Here’s an example: Someone asks you to come to their holiday party the same night that you have planned to do other things that are in line with how you want to spend the season. Rather than apologizing that you can’t make it, say: “I so appreciate your invitation and would love to spend some good time with you, however I already have plans for that evening. Thanks for understanding”. See how easy that is? You don’t have to be sorry for saying no. And if you really would like to spend some time with that person, make a plan for the new year. “How about we get together after the holidays settle down and we can have a proper visit and really catch up? I would love to spend time with you”. Doesn’t that sound good?
Wishing you peace, contentment, merriment, joy and all the good things for the holidays.
If you struggle to determine what you want, set boundaries, prioritize your own health and well-being, you’re not alone! Reach out! We help clients all the time with these types of things - they’re called interpersonal effectiveness skills and a big part of the DBT Skills Training that we do here at Choosing Health Counselling.
