It’s 4:20, Do You Know Where Your Children Are? Cannabis Use and Our Kids.
When I was a kid (and I’m dating myself here), there were public service ads that came on T.V. that stated the time and asked if you knew where your children were. Apparently it started in the 60’s as a public service announcement to help remind parents to keep their kids off the street at night. If you’re parenting a youth these days, you may be affected or concerned about Cannabis use in teens in Ontario. Legalization of Cannabis has not helped the situation. For a variety of reasons, Cannabis use is more dangerous than ever - while legal in Ontario, it carries significant short- and long-term health risks, particularly for youth, pregnant individuals, and those with pre-existing conditions. The primary dangers include mental health issues, impaired brain development, respiratory harm, addiction, and driving accidents. On today, 4/20 I thought it would be pertinent to discuss this important topics for families. 4/20 or 4:20 - another term, created in the 70s (pronounced four-twenty), is cannabis culture slang for cannabis consumption, especially smoking around the time 4:20 p.m., and annual cannabis-oriented celebrations held on 4/20.
Is your family being affected by Cannabis use? We are here to help. We help individuals and families dealing with the effects of Cannab is use in a non-judgemental, supportive way at our clinic in Mississauga, Ontario and online anywhere in Ontario.
Is Cannabis Helping or Harming You and Your Family?
Every year on April 20th, conversations about cannabis tend to centre around celebration, legalization, and personal choice. And while cannabis is legal and widely used, there’s a quieter side of the conversation that doesn’t get as much attention: how cannabis use can impact families.
For many individuals, cannabis may feel like a way to relax, cope with stress, or manage difficult emotions. But within a family system, one person’s coping strategy can ripple outward in ways that aren’t always obvious at first.
What we are seeing in Mississauga, Ontario in terms of Cannabis Use:
As a Social Worker in Ontario, we used today as an opportunity to discuss Cannabis Use in Ontario and how it’s showing up in our offices as social workers and psychotherapists - in our emergency rooms - in our schools - and in our homes and families. With the legalization of Cannabis in our Country, we are seeing families needing support for individual members and for the family as a whole to deal with the adverse effects Cannabis use can cause.
The Subtle Shifts Families Notice
Family members often aren’t reacting to cannabis use itself—but to the changes they observe over time. These might include:
Increased withdrawal or emotional distance
Changes in mood, irritability, or motivation
Memory lapses or difficulty following through
Less presence or engagement in family life
Conflict about use, boundaries, or responsibilities
These shifts can be confusing, especially when cannabis is perceived as “harmless” or “not a big deal.” Loved ones may question their own reactions or feel unsure whether their concerns are valid.
When Use Becomes a Coping Strategy
Cannabis can sometimes become a primary way of coping with stress, anxiety, trauma, or overwhelm. While it may offer short-term relief, over time it can reduce opportunities to build other coping skills or address underlying issues.
For families, this can feel like being shut out. Attempts to talk about concerns may be met with defensiveness, minimization, or reassurance that “everything is fine.”
This dynamic can create distance, frustration, and even resentment on both sides.
The Impact on Relationships
When cannabis use starts to shape routines, communication, or emotional availability, relationships can feel the strain. Partners may feel alone in managing responsibilities. Parents may worry about modelling or consistency. Adult children may feel they are “losing” a parent who is physically present but emotionally unavailable.
Even when there is love and good intention, these patterns can erode trust and connection over time.
It’s Not About Blame
It’s important to say this clearly: this isn’t about labeling cannabis use as “bad” or blaming individuals.
Instead, it’s about noticing impact.
Families function as interconnected systems. When one part shifts, the whole system adjusts. Bringing awareness to these shifts can open the door to more honest, compassionate conversations.
Starting the Conversation
If an adult’s cannabis use is affecting your family, it can help to:
Focus on specific behaviours and impacts rather than labels
Use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel worried when…”)
Choose calm, non-confrontational moments to talk
Stay curious rather than assuming intent
Set clear, respectful boundaries where needed
These conversations aren’t always easy—but they can be an important step toward reconnection.
When Teens or Young Adults Are Using Cannabis:
For families with teens or young adults, cannabis use can bring an added layer of concern.
Adolescence is a critical period for brain development, and regular cannabis use during this time can have more significant impacts than many people realize.
Parents often describe a gradual shift:
Spending more time isolated (often “disappearing” to bedrooms or the basement)
Pulling away from family interactions
Changes in friend groups or routines
Increased irritability, low motivation, or emotional ups and downs
A noticeable drop in academic performance or engagement
While some of these changes can be part of typical teen development, cannabis use can intensify or complicate them.
Mental Health and Cognitive Risks
Research shows that cannabis use in youth is associated with increased risk of:
Anxiety and depression
Difficulty with memory, attention, and learning
Reduced motivation and follow-through
Worsening of existing mental health challenges
For some young people—especially those with a family or personal vulnerability—cannabis use can also increase the risk of experiencing psychosis. This can look like paranoia, hallucinations, or a break from reality, and requires immediate professional support.
Physical Health Concerns
Another lesser-known but increasingly common issue is cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome (CHS)—a condition linked to regular cannabis use that causes severe, recurrent nausea and vomiting. Families are often surprised to learn that cannabis, which is sometimes used to reduce nausea, can in some cases have the opposite effect.
Why This Can Be So Hard for Families
Many parents find themselves caught between concern and uncertainty:
“Is this just typical teen behaviour?”
“Am I overreacting?”
“How do I set limits without pushing them away?”
At the same time, teens may minimize their use or its impact, especially when cannabis is widely accepted among peers.
This can create a disconnect where parents feel alarmed, and teens feel misunderstood—making conversations more difficult and often more charged.
Supporting Teens Without Escalating Conflict
While there’s no perfect script, it can help to:
Stay focused on observed changes (mood, school, engagement) rather than accusations
Express concern from a place of care, not control
Keep communication open, even if it’s imperfect
Seek professional support if you’re noticing significant changes or warning signs
Early support can make a meaningful difference—not only in reducing risk, but in preserving connection during a stage of life where relationships can easily become strained.
When Support Can Help:
Sometimes, families need support navigating these dynamics. Therapy can provide a space to:
Explore underlying stressors or emotional needs
Improve communication and reduce conflict
Rebuild trust and connection
Develop healthier coping strategies
Support can be helpful not only for the person using cannabis, but for partners and family members as well.
A Broader Conversation on 4/20
As cannabis continues to be part of mainstream culture, expanding the conversation to include relational impact matters.
We need to be direct - we often avoid the topics that are uncomfortable or likely to cause conflict - conversations about Cannabis need to happen in our communities, schools, therapy offices, and families.
You don’t have to do this alone. Finding non-judgemental, supportive, professionals who truly care is key. At Choosing Health Counselling we are not here to judge or lecture or to tell you what to do. We are here to listen, to share what we know, and to support individuals and families with their challenges and struggles and to hopefully achieve optimal health and wellness. If Cannabis use is something that is affecting yourself or your family, please don’t hesitate to reach out and chat with us. Book a free consult call or initial appointment with our team to learn more about how we can support you.
If you or a member of your family is struggling with the effects of Cannabis use, or if you just want more information or to have a conversation about it - please don’t hesitate to reach out. One of the key takeaways from our workshop today was that we aren’t talking enough about Cannabis use.
Some of the barriers to having productive conversations about Cannabis include:
Stigmatization - People may be uncomfortable \talking about Cannabis use for fear of being judged or labelled.
Normalization - Due to legalization, many young people believe that cannabis use is normal and a healthy, medical, and/or natural way to cope with stress and to support themselves and therefore may not realize this is something we need to talk about.
Minimization - Due to legalization, many people believe that Cannabis use must be healthy and safe or else it wouldn’t in fact be legal.
Conflict Avoidance - Talking about someone’s drug use can cause them to be defensive and may bring up conflict. We tend to want to avoid conflict and keep the peace with those we love which causes us to avoid the hard conversations that we should be having.
